Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
