Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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