why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
