Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
