No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
