why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
