dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
