"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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