You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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