ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm really busy with my period
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