i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I love having hate sex.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
