I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
