Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm really busy with my period
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