No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
