Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
