So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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