Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
