So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
