I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize