I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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