You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize