Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
BRING THE BAGELS
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
