Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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