I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
