turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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