Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
