Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize