I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
