I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Is this like a preordered booty call?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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