Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
