The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
