Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
