Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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