Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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