yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize