no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
