her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Enjoy the penises
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
