I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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