Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
