im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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