Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
