it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
