you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
