Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
