turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
