speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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