Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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