If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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