why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
