i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
