my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
