I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
