Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
