I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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