and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it was like eating out sand paper
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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