We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
