uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize