She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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