i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
