Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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