Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!"Β, then passed out on the couch.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
