i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
