At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
