hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
