The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
