I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
